


Traitor

by Level4Chaos



Category: Samurai Warriors (Video Games)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Blow Jobs, Emotional Manipulation, Forbidden Love, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Hatred, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealousy, M/M, Male Homosexuality, POV First Person, Rating For Future Content, Rewrite, Samurai Warriors 1, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Level4Chaos/pseuds/Level4Chaos
Summary: [NOT COMPLETE / IN-PROGRESS!][SOME TAGS AND WARNINGS ARE FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!]Mitsuhide is a troubled man.  He fights for a master he does not respect, and he is in love with a boy he cannot have.  He is so close to breaking, it would only take the slightest push - and Nobunaga does not do things by halves.It is my fic,Whore,  re-written from Mitsuhide's point of view.
Relationships: Akechi Mitsuhide/Mori Ranmaru, Akechi Mitsuhide/Oda Nobunaga, Mori Ranmaru/Oda Nobunaga
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER:** The characters in this fanfic are loosely based on the game, which is loosely based on Japanese history. In other words, the characters in this fanfic are so very distant to the historical individuals they happen to share names with, I assure you that even if I wanted to (and I don't!), I mean no ill will toward any of them. I do not own the rights to the game; the events, the places, or characters within. This story is a work of fiction, and I acknowledge that I have taken uncountable liberties with the plot and characters' personalities / sexual persuasions. I write this purely to show my love for the game - nothing more, nothing less.
> 
>  **AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Inspired by [Lady_of_all_Cards](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_all_Cards/pseuds/Lady_of_all_Cards)' suggestion that I write an epilogue for [Whore](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2400320/chapters/5306867) from Mitsuhide's point of view. I figure, why not write the whole fic while I'm at it? ^_~
> 
> It's more difficult than I thought it would be, but I'm enjoying the challenge. The hardest part is trying to work out what Mitsuhide was doing when he wasn't around in _Whore_!

I used to think he was the one to unite the land, and now I know he is... but not the way it should be done.

I used to think a little bloodshed was necessary, but not _this_ much.

And what have I done to stop him? Nothing. I serve him without a word of protest. I cut down whoever stands against him. And whilst I remain in his army, I am part of the reason no one can challenge him.

I don't know how much longer I can bow in quiet submission to a monster. Every day, he tests me to see how much I will bend before I break, and every day I fight to keep my rage in check. I will not let him see how close I am to being forced down this dark path.

What if I did just let myself snap...?

Then, what?

I gave a chuckle at the thought. I may have been a high-ranking general in his army, but I didn't have nearly the following I would need to overthrow Lord Nobunaga. Did he inspire this level of hatred in the breast of any other of his soldiers or enemies? Surely, I was not completely alone?

And it is my doubt that keeps me silent. If anyone else shared my thoughts, I would have heard about it. A whisper, a rumour... _something_.

Surely, I was not wrong?

If I was hesitating, it meant I had not been bent quite enough. And whilst I remained unbroken, there was still a chance I could stop myself from thinking these treacherous thoughts.

There are soldiers drinking and laughing nearby, but beyond that, I can hear those moans on the still night air...

It is not loyalty that tethers me here, it is him - Ranmaru, a boy I have loved from the moment I met him. And right now, he lies beneath my lord, crying his name. It is not passion I hear in his voice; it pain and fear.

If I were a weaker man, I would drink until I was deaf to the sound of my sweet boy being abused like that. And if I were a stronger man, I would never have let it happen in the first place.

How foolish of me to think I was strong enough now! I let my lord do as he pleases, because I am a coward. It is not simply a matter of a few recent slights; he takes what he wants, and I have never stood up to him. No one has.

...What would I do to him, if given the chance?

I will have to do _something_. I can't live like this forever. And I cannot leave without Ranmaru by my side.

The tea I prepared has grown cold, and the camp has fallen into silence. How long have I sat in contemplation, thinking of nothing I would dare admit out loud? It is not the first time I have lost hours to my thoughts.

I need to clear my head. Just thinking about my lord is making my fingers cramp from curling them into such tight fists. He torments me even when he isn't here!

The night is cool and calm; it is a shame to waste it indoors. There is a stream nearby, which no one would be visiting at this hour. I will take a swim before bed, and hope that my dreams aren't plagued with regret and treachery, just as they have been every night before.

I had stripped down to nothing before I noticed I was not alone. How distracted could I be this night? Mistakes like this could cost me more than mere embarrassment in the heat of battle.

I was reaching for my clothes, thinking I could sneak away with my dignity intact, when I realised who I was in the company of. He was waist-deep in the stream, facing away from me, scrubbing madly at his arms, at his chest, like he wanted to tear his skin from his body.

It hurt to watch. What has he been forced to do to make him scream... to make him feel so unclean?

"...Ranmaru?"  
"Lord Mitsuhide!" The way he cried it as he quickly turned around, it seemed we were both preoccupied tonight.

His shoulder-length hair is messy and knotted, and his eyes are puffy and bloodshot. But he is still beautiful. He is still everything that I want, and dare not have.

"What brings you out so late?"  
I know why, and it is a ridiculous thing to ask, but I pretend I'm innocent to the anger his answer will rouse in me. I hope that he lies to me, so that I can imagine we are back in a time when we could freely talk to each other without the guilt of our emotions making the interaction feel wrong.

I can feel his stare, and he is not looking at my eyes. I felt a twitch in my loins, and I dearly wished for it to be internal, but I can see how he keeps correcting his focus. It has grabbed his attention, and it is shameful, but I _want_ him to look. I want him to imagine what we would be like together.

And perhaps one day, he might act on his curiosity.

"I have been with Lord Nobunaga."

I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want confirmation he cried because of what that man had done to him. I was in the water with him, reaching for his cheek, that I might comfort him and show him that not every touch is one of cruelty.

He shied away from me as though I were going to strike him. I don't know which upset me more - that this was his natural reaction to affection, or that despite our friendship, he thought I would harm him.

He is so broken; his cracks are barely holding him together. And if I can't save him, do I have any right to call myself his friend? I need to get him away from what he has been forced to become... and what he has been forced to do under the guise of loyalty.

"Did he hurt you?"

Why did I ask these questions, knowing the answer all too well? Perhaps I was looking for a reason to be angry; to justify why my heart felt like it was on fire.

"It always hurts, Lord Mitsuhide." He admits it so easily, like it is expected of him - of _any_ of us, if it takes our lord's fancy. "But surely you understand that I _have_ to do this."

I _did_ understand, and it only made me feel worse.

If he were my lover, he would not be standing before me like he was terrified of us being seen together. It would have been so easy to just run away with him. Instead, we were both trapped. He, as my lord's sex toy... and I, forced to accept it.

Until one of us breaks.

"Ranmaru... you deserve to be loved." I wanted him. I wanted to take away every bad memory he had of Nobunaga, and replace them with memories of me. "Please, let me show you what it is meant to feel like."

I didn't care who saw us; let them report me for my insubordination.

I drew him into a naked embrace. His skin was soft, but his body was stiff. His hands were on my chest, poised to push me away. I would never do anything to him against his will. Despite his actions to the contrary, I know he wants this. It's in the way he gasps as I pull him in tighter; the way I feel his body instinctively rub against mine.

He wants this as much as I do. If only our situation was different...

"I can't." His voice is trembling as our lips meet for a gentle, forbidden kiss. "Please don't make me scream for you to stop, Lord Mitsuhide... I will, if I have to."

I would kiss him forever, if I were allowed to, but I knew I asked too much of him. If I pushed him further, it would make me no better than Nobunaga.

"What have I done to make you fear me?"

His frown softens at my question, but he does not answer it. I have been too bold tonight; I have frightened him. I never wanted to do that. I never wanted to be like _him_.

"...Not tonight." It is like a desperate sigh. I do not want him to beg for my mercy. "Please, Lord Mitsuhide, I am so tired... don't do this to me tonight."

"I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm sorry." I steal one last touch from him, running my fingers across his cheek, his jaw, and finally, to his chin. "Sleep well, Ranmaru."

I feel his breath grow deeper, but that is the only hint he gives. He is better at fighting it than I am, but I suppose he has been trained to lie about his feelings. How many times has he told our lord that he loves him?

I look back at him as I leave, and I feel the familiar embrace of that dark hatred. The more I loved Ranmaru, the more I hated Nobunaga.


	2. Chapter 2

It does not feel so bad in the morning. The hatred is so normal, so constant; it's almost comforting in its presence. But the jealousy I felt last night has faded with sleep.

It will return, of course, but at least I will be able to look at Ranmaru and smile, like I have done every morning. And the painful charade continues...

He is sitting outside our lord's quarters, as always. His head is bowed, and he would look so peaceful, if not for the sword across his lap.

It is early and there are very few others around. Perhaps I can steal another moment to talk to him? To tell him that I meant what I said when I held him in my arms last night.

As I get closer, I can see just under his fringe that his eyes are closed, but he is not asleep; his grip keeps changing ever so slightly on his sword.

"Ranmaru... How are you feeling this morning?"

The speed of his movements is incredible to behold! For such a slender boy, wielding such a long blade, he is on his feet and ready to attack in a flash. But I am not without skill myself.

I've fought in more battles than I wish to count, and I've defeated just as many talented opponents. Ranmaru may be Nobunaga's shield, but I am his sword. I redirect his attack with my own blade, guiding it away and then to the ground.

He looks at me with the same horror he looked at me last night.

"I am sorry, Lord Mitsuhide." He drops to his knees so easily, like he has spent his life begging for forgiveness. "My mind was elsewhere... it won't happen again."

How could I be angry with him for such a beautiful defence? It should have been me apologising for startling him.  
"Your swordplay never fails to impress me."

"My lord thinks too highly of me."

I have upset him. It is the last thing I want to do, but the only thing I seem capable of when it comes to him.

I kneel with him, and take his hands in mine. His hands are clammy and trembling; they should not belong to the warrior who attacked me so effortlessly mere seconds ago. He is a mess of emotions... and I worry that might someday be his downfall.

"You're shaking! Is everything all right?"

"I could have killed you with my carelessness!" He is yelling at _me_ , but the words are directed toward himself.

" _You_ do not think of me highly enough." I turn his previous statement back at him. He is strong, and quite terrifying in the midst of battle, but I've know him - _loved_ him - for long enough to see his fragility, and my strength in wanting to protect him. "I'm not as weak as you would believe. I _can_ defend myself, Ranmaru."

"I would never accuse you of being weak, Lord Mitsuhide."

If I could just get him away from Nobunaga, he wouldn't have to hide that gentle side of himself. I tighten my grip on his hands, and he finally looks up at me.

I took the moment to clarify what I meant.  
"I can defend _us_."

"No."  
Does he say it because he believes it, or because he has been told to say it? There is so much more I could show him. He doesn't have to be our lord's plaything. Can he not see what he has become?

"This is no way for you to live."  
"I know my place!" He snaps at me. I have upset him... again.

"-And it's time you learned _yours_ , Mitsuhide."

A third voice joins our conversation. It is the cause of all my grief - Nobunaga. He appears out of nowhere, like a phantom. It is a move designed to frighten, to put its victim on edge, but I will not be intimidated by him.

"Forgive me, my lord." I stand, only then to bow to him - a hollow sign of respect. "I was not aware you were here."

"Obviously." He says it like he has been here all along, like he heard everything. And just as quickly, he moves on. He is not angry. He is not... _anything_. "Report back to me once you have finished your errands."

It is a less than subtle hint for me to leave.

"Of course, my lord." Another bow, and I continue on my way.

I want to look back at them. I need to know that Ranmaru is safe. He said all the right things; I do not want him to be punished for _my_ words. But I cannot risk even a glance. I do not know how much Nobunaga heard, and I do not want to exacerbate the situation.

Not yet.

Not until Ranmaru is willing to admit we share the same dreams and goals. With him by my side, I would have the strength to... What _would_ I do? Just vanish, or something far more damning? Both were attractive options, but only one would rid the world of _that_ evil...

The list of tasks I have is menial, but necessary before our next attack. I head to the forge to check the soldiers' requests for arms, and to take note of any issues.

The rhythmic clank of hammer against metal helps to stop me thinking about what Ranmaru is doing right now. For a moment, I am not worried about him.

The noise stops the moment I walk into the tent; smiths and their apprentices bowing to me.

"Lord Mitsuhide!" A swordsmith beckons me over to present what he has been working on.

It is no simple blade for a nameless soldier. Even unfinished, I can tell it's going to be something very beautiful, and just as expensive.

"A commission for Lord Nobunaga himself." He explains proudly.  
"A nodachi?" I am curious why he wants such a long sword. I had not heard of any visiting dignitaries who would require a gift.

A soldier standing nearby laughed, elbowing his friend beside him. "Yeah, probably for his little bitch."  
"He gives him more gifts than his own wife!"

There it was - heat rushing to my head, sheer rage blurring my vision. I'd reined it in before, surely, I could control it now. Usually, only Nobunaga stirred such emotions in me. It is getting stronger, and harder to predict. One day, I know I will hurt someone because of it.

_Please, just don't let it be Ranmaru._

When I blink back the clouds, my sword is drawn, and I have the terrified soldier's collar balled in my fist. He is mumbling apologetic words, but I have let myself be taken too deep to immediately understand them upon my return. I am too angry... and I cannot do anything with it.

I cannot let anyone see it. But I have done just that.

"You will show respect when you speak about a general of this army!"  
It is not the voice I would use for an ally; I spit it like I am giving an order to my most hated enemy.

...Like Nobunaga?

I could not hear the silence through my pulse in my ears, but as the anger ebbs, it is almost deafening. Every single person in the tent has stopped their work, their hands frozen mid-motion. By their open-mouthed stares, I know they can see what I can only feel - the hatred that is consuming me.

"I am sorry, Lord Mitsuhide!" The soldier is still asking for my forgiveness. "Lord Ranmaru is a fine boy, and a courageous warrior. I did not mean to insult him!"

I let him go, smoothing down his clothes in an apology of my own.

"See that it doesn't happen again."  
I hope it sounds like advice, rather than a warning, but right now, I cannot trust myself.

The other stops I had to make around the camp did not involve much socialising, and for that I was relieved. Count this, observe that. It gave me a chance to calm down. If simple words could infuriate me so, I feared what I might do when faced with the man himself.

I have already shown too much to too many people.

With my arrangements finally complete, I head back to Nobunaga's quarters. It is odd that Ranmaru is not outside, so I knock on the doorframe and wait to be received.

My lord bids me to enter without question, and as I step into the room, what I see freezes me to the spot.

My beautiful Ranmaru... kneeling between Nobunaga's spread thighs; his head dipping and rising. Even from his back, I can see his body is tense. If he ever was enjoying it, he is not now.

"You wished to see me after completion of my errands, my lord?" I avert my eyes. Every night I hear him cry, but I never wanted to _see_ why. "I can come back later, if you are busy."

I try to sound professional. I try to sound like it is my fault for walking in on their private time together... anything other than letting myself scream.

I am too angry... and I _must_ not do anything with it. Not here.

Not now.

"Not at all." Nobunaga doesn't care for my offer of retreat. "Sit down. We have much to discuss."

_Not yet..._


	3. Chapter 3

I must not allow myself to feel anger, so instead I feel overwhelmingly helpless. The coward in me has been caught by surprise, and his impotence is almost as unbearable as what he is forced to meekly witness.

Until I have the discipline to control my rage, I will never be ready to confront my lord. Until then, I cannot say anything. I cannot _do_ anything. He must not know what has dug itself up from my depths, and lies barely under the surface now.

"I hear there was a problem with one of the soldiers at the forge?" He speaks to me casually, as though there is nothing happening immediately between us, like Ranmaru is simply a tool to be used.

My jaw is clenched so tight it hurts. It's the only way I can stop myself from grimacing at each wet slurp I hear.  
"It is nothing my lord needs to tr-"

I should have expected it. I am a warrior trained not to fear sudden surprises. Jump out at me in a silent alleyway, and I am ready to attack. But a shameless orgasm right in front of me? It has me stuttering like a fool!

"Needs to trouble himself..."

The only warning was the way Nobunaga's eyes fluttered closed for a moment. I have never even seen him blink before; he is always so... intense and alert. There is a sharp intake of breath, and then that awful sound - a guttural moan that ends in a laugh.

He grabs the back of Ranmaru's head, forcing him to take the full brunt of his thrusts. It must nearly choke him! I can't think about it. I have to remain unmoved, or I will fail whatever test we find ourselves in the middle of.

For all my daydreaming, I never had a plan. I claim to love Ranmaru, and I can't even bring myself to utter a single word of protest at this treatment of him!

With his duties fulfilled, Ranmaru cannot get out of the room quick enough. His hand is over his mouth as he runs for the door. I want to go after him, but I know how important it is for me to stay.

I did not even realise I was staring after him until Nobunaga clears his throat.  
"Mitsuhide."

He sits before me, with his legs spread and his flaccid cock still unsheathed. I will not give him the satisfaction of looking at it. My eyes stay locked to his, and it is exhausting. He is playing with me, trying to get me to yield to his dominance.

I do not know if he is angered by my refusal, or amused by it.

The room is stifling! I feel sick, knowing I am breathing in my lord's scent... and my beloved Ranmaru's shame. It is another layer to the test, no doubt.

"If there is _any_ disrespect in my ranks, it needs to be quashed. I am told you did just that."

I don't know how much he was told about my reprehensible performance at the forge, but I must remain numb. I must not be affected by what I see, what I smell, what I hear.

"It was nothing, my lord."

"Oh, but I hear it _was_." His eyes light up with the same terrifying fire they have in the midst of battle. "Show him to me, Mitsuhide."

His demand is strange, and I do not understand it.  
"Who, my lord?"

He smiles. "The demon you keep inside yourself."

They saw it - a hint of my ire, and they label me a demon for it.

"The men exaggerate." I shrug it off. "I was angry."

The musty smell of sex is a distraction. It hangs like a reminder in case I was to ever forget what I had seen. I can barely concentrate on what Nobunaga is saying.

I make the mistake of putting my fingertips to my forehead. It is a natural reaction to the throbbing headache that is growing worse each second I have to endure that smell.

I have shown him that I am affected by it.

"Are you wondering what it would be like, Mitsuhide?" He asks, making me physically shrink away from him. "To serve your master with _that_ much loyalty?"

Although I had managed to restrain my emotions, that question sent a sharp shiver down my very spine. Did he want me to serve him just as Ranmaru did? He was clearly in no hurry to re-dress himself. What other conclusion could I reach?

"Are you... propositioning me, my lord?"

"Oh, please." He snorts as though I had just told a joke. "The only reason you would get close enough to touch me would be to stab me in the back."

He knows. How could he not, when I have put my temper on display for all to see? He knows my deepest, darkest thoughts as clearly as if I had shouted them when I berated that soldier.

If he is trying to force a mistake out of me with fear, he is close.

"My lord-"

Did I...?

He is fast; even faster than Ranmaru. He pounces like a wild cat, hunting its prey, pinning me beneath him. His knee forces itself up and into my groin. The moan I make is not out of arousal, but sheer discomfort, if he can tell the difference.

"You think you can just take what is mine? First, Ranmaru, and then what, Mitsuhide? Will he be enough for your demon?"

I have been too cavalier with my affection. It is almost a relief that I am being accused of theft, rather than treason. It does not make the physical position I am in any less awkward.

Perhaps he wants me to fight? I refuse to play his game. I have to remain submissive, because if I don't...

The demon I denied only moments ago might well show himself.

"Ranmaru is my friend. I do not wish to see him harmed."

He is so close to me. I can feel his breath; I can feel his penis dangling against my stomach. All I can think about is how Ranmaru must feel when he finds himself like this...

Every.

Single.

Day.

"Did he look like he was in any danger?"

"No, my lord."

I am a coward of the worst kind, but it is the answer that will get me out of his presence the fastest.

As soon as I am permitted to leave, I head down to the stream that flows near the camp. Ranmaru always goes there when he feels dirty. Even if he has already left, _I_ am dirty enough to be there myself.

He is still there.

"Ranmaru?" I call out to him as I approach, but he does not respond. "Ranmaru, if I had known you were there, I would never have come to talk to Lord Nobunaga."

"The only reason you were there to talk to him was because he _wanted_ you to see me." I can hear his shame just as clearly as I can see it in the way he hunches over. "And now that you've seen what I am, do you understand why we cannot be together?"

"It has only made me realise how much we _do_ need to be together."

He ignores me, pulling his loose hair up into a bun and fastening it with an unusually elaborate hairpin - no doubt a gift from our lord. I would like to buy him such things... but he could never wear them.

I take the pin away from him. If he cannot wear my things, then I would like to see him without _his_ obscuring my perfect view.

"Please... leave it for a moment." I insist, reaching to touch his hair and stroke his face. Everything about him is so soft. What I would give to touch him forever! Just let me touch him for a little longer. "You're so beautiful with it down..."

He shies away from me. "Lord Mitsuhide, please don't say things like that."

"Ranmaru, you are beautiful." I do not mean to be forceful. If I cannot touch him like a lover, then I will put my hands on his shoulders as a friend. I just need to feel something that isn't crippling despair. "I can never say it enough."

"I have to get back to Lord Nobunaga. He will be wondering where I am."

Our time together is always limited, and I will not ask him to stay. I don't want him to go back to _that_ man, and have _those_ things done to him, but what I want is not safe to do right now.

But it will be soon.

"Of course. I understand."

"...Lord Mitsuhide?" Ranmaru calls out to me, almost like he is afraid to talk. "I wish it didn't have to be this way."

His words bring a smile to my lips. If he still has the spirit to wish, then I... need to gather my own will to make it come true for him.

"As do I, Ranmaru. But as much as I despise it, I fear we shan't have this problem for much longer."


	4. Chapter 4

I have not seen Ranmaru since talking to him at the stream, and he is suspiciously absent from the evening meal. Every new arrival into the dining hall has me looking up in the hope of seeing his beautiful face, but he never shows.

My mind is racing with all sorts of scenarios. Did I keep him too long? Is he being punished because of me?

...Did we fail our test?

I feel Nobunaga's stare, and I look up to meet it. He licks his smirking lips, and I quickly turn away. I can hear him laughing over the crowd immediately after, and I know it is at my expense.

If I had stood up to him this afternoon, my fate might have been much worse. I will let him torment me, if it means taking his attention away from Ranmaru.

I am so worried about my sweet boy! I need to make sure he is safe. It is the least I can do after being such a useless friend to him in his time of need.

"Mitsuhide, you're leaving so soon?"  
I hear a woman's voice behind me as I make my way out of the room. It is the Lady Noh, my lord's wife. When I turn around, she is uncomfortably close, sharing her husband's penchant for putting people on edge.

"Yes, my lady. There is much to do tomorrow."

I bow to her, shallowly, because of the small distance between us. I do not want to be accused of inappropriate behaviour, especially with her bosom so close to me, and her husband looking on.

"Oh Mitsuhide, you are far too proper!" She giggles, adding in a hushed voice. "One day, I hope _I_ get to see just how improper you can be."

My affection lies elsewhere, and she is delaying me from being by his side.

"Good night, my lady." I say it as firmly as I can whilst remaining polite. I bow again, and take my leave.

They are both playing with me.

And they are both laughing at me.

I knock on Ranmaru's door, and wait. He is taking so long to answer, and my mind is wandering. What if he is injured? Dead?! Would it be wrong of me to force my way into his quarters?

Just as I convince myself he needs me more than ever, there is the sound of soft footsteps in the room beyond.

Ranmaru barely cracks the door open, and peeks around the edge. "Lord Mitsuhide, you shouldn't be here."  
"I was worried when you didn't eat with us tonight." I explain. His eyes are watery, and the wet trails down his cheeks glitter in the moonlight. "You've been crying?"

It is everything I fear. Something terrible happened to him... and I was not there to protect him. I push the door open and let myself in.

Closing the door behind me, I wrap my arms around my dear friend. My sweet boy.

"Ranmaru, what happened? Did he hurt you?"  
He nuzzles into me, trembling as he begins to cry again. "I can't..."

He never tells me what Nobunaga forces him to do, and I have never asked. I don't want to know. The little I saw this afternoon was so vile... so infuriating, if I allowed myself to react, I would never stop screaming.

I was subjected to Nobunaga's sexual dominance for only a moment, and the entire time I laid under him as he bent me to agree to his lies, I selfishly wished for him not to treat me like Ranmaru.

He let me go once I gave him the answers he wanted. He just stood up and concluded our conversation. I can't imagine Ranmaru is ever shown such mercy.

"It's all right." I whisper, tightening my embrace. "I understand."

_Don't tell me. I don't think my heart could bear it._

I stroke his hair and kiss the top of his head, like a parent comforting a child.  
"I'll kill him before I ever let him touch you again."

He starts, drawing a sudden breath. "My lord, those are treacherous words."

And those treacherous words fell so easily from my mouth in his presence. He is the reason I would do it. I would disgrace myself for his happiness. I just need to know he will be with me when I do.

I will not ask it of him just yet. By his reaction, he is still too loyal. He does not see what I see clearer each day.

"You're right." I move from father to something more sensual, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I'm sorry... but you don't know how much it hurts me to see you in tears."

"My lord worries far too much about me." He dismisses my feelings and belittles himself in a single sentence.

I can't bear it. I need him to know what he means to me. I want to kiss him, but we have both spent so long denying it, now the opportunity presents itself, it seems wrong to just take it.

I lean in close, my cheek against his; feeling his soft skin shiver as I exhale. There is a romantic beauty in denial... or so I keep telling myself.

"I want you to be happy, Ranmaru."  
There is voice in his sigh, so strained I would not have understood it if it wasn't my name.  
"Lord Mitsuhide..."

We are alone for now, but how long do we have this luxury? Dare I start what I might have to stop at any moment, when all I want to do is show him what intimacy should feel like?

My lips are against his ear as I ask, "Do you have guard duty tonight?"  
"I... no. Lord Nobunaga wishes to spend the evening alone with the Lady Noh."

Then, we have all night... if this is what he wants? It is what _I_ want. I've wanted it for so long, but I will not force him if something has changed between us and he no longer feels the same way.

I can feel the heat radiating from his slender body; how fast his heart is beating. I kiss his ear, and his breath audibly hitches. I continue across his jaw, and he leans into my kiss.

"Then... this means I have you all to myself?" I ask, moving down to his neck.  
"Yes."

I feel his hands on my chest, and I know it is to push me away if he feels threatened. Does he dare do this with Nobunaga? It is weirdly flattering that he knows he can say 'no' to me. I will never be like _him_.

His skin is so soft... so young, rising to goosebumps where I touch him. I kiss his neck, and I cannot stop. I want him more than I've ever wanted anything. For all the hatred inside me, there is still so much love. And _all_ of that love is for Ranmaru.

I am lost in the feel of him... the taste of him. I am no longer kissing him; I am licking him, sucking him. It is degenerate. He brings out a hunger in me that will only ever be satisfied by him alone.

He throws his head back, and moans the words I did not want to hear.  
"Lord Mitsuhide, please stop..."

He is so forbidden. I knew and expected I would only have him for a moment, like every time before it. I pull away from him. If he does not want this, then...

We are not so far out of town that I cannot make the ride to the brothel, and staunch my urges there. It is not the same as having Ranmaru in my arms, but it has always calmed me in the past.

They let me call them by his name, and for a moment, I can pretend that I am happy.

"Lord Mitsuhide, I-" His eyes are so sad as he begins to offer an explanation.  
I do not need him to tell me why. We live it every day. "I know, and I'm sorry. I just can't help the way I feel about you."

He is safe - that is all that matters. I will not stay if he does not want me to. There will be all the time in the world when we leave this place together.

"I... Please, don't go." He suddenly grabs my arm as I step away from him. "I love you, Lord Mitsuhide."

It is like my entire world has suddenly changed! To hear those words, I feel... like everything I have felt in the past was an empty substitute for emotion.

To hear those words, I _feel_.

"Then, tell me you don't want this, Ranmaru..." I will return his sentiments with actions, if he will let me. "Tell me you don't want me to make love to you tonight."

I kiss his neck again. This time, it is not tentative; this time, I do not hold back. I will kiss him like this for the entire night... and forever onwards.

"I want it..." He moans as he arches against me. "I want _you_ , Lord Mitsuhide..."

My heart is pounding so hard in my chest; it is the only thing that is convincing me this is real. I cup his face in my hands, and kiss his lips.

Every time before has been wary, rushed... not quite right. Tonight, it is perfect.

To taste Ranmaru's sweet tongue, to hear the little sounds of pleasure he is making for me...

It's _too_ perfect.

I move around behind him, trembling as I put my arm around his waist. I do not want to stir some terrible memory. I do not want him to think I am anything like our lord. I kiss his shoulder through the fabric of his robe, letting him know that it is love that guides me.

And I want him to enjoy this with me.

I run my hand down his silky thigh, and then up and under his robe to stroke his throbbing erection through the fabric of his shorts. It is the first time I have touched him so intimately. It is the first time I have felt him truly aroused for me.

"Lord Mitsuhide..."

It seems wrong for him to address me so formally, when it is _I_ who wishes to serve him. Perhaps I should call him 'Lord Ranmaru' as my humble hand makes him wriggle and gasp?

"It's just _Mitsuhide_ tonight."

I've only just begun to touch him, and he is already so hot... so pliant. On my next downward stroke, I slide my hand inside his waistband and touch his bare skin. His mouth is saying no, but his body says quite the opposite. His back is pressed hard against me, whilst his hips push desperately into my hand.

It is wanton and raw. Every time he grinds back into me, I have to bite back a moan. But this is not about me; it is all about him and his pleasure right now. I will not take the moment away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be Continued... sooner than the last chapter, I hope!


End file.
